The Weight of Fertility Struggles

The Weight of Fertility Struggles:
When trying becomes everything

No one prepares you for how heavy hope can feel.

At first, trying to conceive is filled with quiet anticipation. A sense of maybe. A future you start to imagine. But as months turn into years, and negative tests become a routine heartbreak, what once felt like a hopeful journey can begin to feel like a silent, exhausting war.

It’s a war often fought behind a smile. In waiting rooms, in calendar apps, in whispered conversations or not at all.
Because fertility struggles are still taboo, too sensitive for dinner tables, too complex for small talk, and too misunderstood by those who haven’t been there.

A grief that’s hard to name

Fertility challenges bring a particular kind of grief. It’s not just about the baby that hasn’t come yet. It’s about the identity shift, the dreams deferred, the monthly rollercoaster of hope and heartbreak. You grieve the loss of ease, the loss of spontaneity, the version of yourself that didn’t carry this quiet ache everywhere.

You may feel broken, even though you're not.
You may feel angry at your body, even though it’s trying.
You may feel like time is slipping away and with it, the stories you once believed about how life would unfold.

The pressure is everywhere

For women fertility challenges can stir up deep questions of worth, failure, and shame. You've worked hard for everything in your life. You make plans. You reach goals. And now this thing that you want so deeply… isn’t happening.

Add to that the well-meaning but painful advice:

• “Just relax.”

• “It’ll happen when you stop trying.”

• “At least you’re still young.”

Or the constant reminders on social media, pregnancy announcements, baby showers, bump photos thanks to unhelpful algorithms. Every scroll becomes a minefield. And sometimes even joy for others comes with pain for yourself.

You're allowed to feel all of it

Exhaustion. Grief. Envy. Hope. Despair. Fertility struggles are an emotional rollercoaster, and no one talks enough about how disorienting that is. You’re allowed to be hopeful and heartbroken in the same breath. You’re allowed to be grateful for what you have and still yearn for more.

This doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

You don’t have to go through it alone

At Revive Mental Health, I offer a space where you can stop pretending you’re okay. Where you can grieve, rage, hope, rest, and not be judged for any of it.

Whether you’re trying to conceive, navigating fertility treatments, or facing the possibility of letting go of this dream, your experience matters. Your emotional wellbeing matters. You matter.

Fertility struggles can shake everything, but they don’t define you.

Let’s create space for your story, your grief, your healing. You don’t have to carry it all alone.